on being fearless or at least pretending to be

posted on: Tuesday, February 5, 2013

My big, fat, crazy dream is to be a professional singer/songwriter. It’s so easy to say this. SO easy. Well, okay, sometimes I feel completely ridiculous saying it, but speaking the words physically is not hard. I can say it out loud, feeling foolish and all. Putting action to those words is a completely different animal, you know? My problem is saying yes to myself. I say yes to help others, but can hardly say it to help myself. It’s not because I don’t want to, but I let fear make my decisions for me way too often. If it’s scary, I say no. I like to rest in my comfortable, warm bubble. I like comfort. I LOVE comfort. Too, too much. It makes me say no to myself, to my dreams. Big, scary dreams require action and often they are so far outside of the comfort zone arena. I’ve heard many success stories and they required major action. They required risk and bravery.

I’ve been thinking about this more and more lately. I need to keep my goals in my mind, write them down and use them when I’m making decisions for myself. Yesterday was step one for me. During a vocal workshop last summer, I met the lovely Jen. She’s a songwriter and has been writing for a while. She offered to help me with songwriting and I took her up on the offer. We spent five hours in a co-writing session and I learned so much! I love this. I really do love it.

Having a mentor who has done and is doing what you aspire to do, oh it helps so much! It’s the biggest blessing and makes me realize I really am on the right path. I feel like I’m so much closer to accomplishing my goal now. It’s an amazing feeling. I’m also really proud of myself for saying yes and following through. I was nervous, sure. I’ve never written with anyone else before. Who knew if I was any good? I could easily make a fool of myself, but I didn’t. I was so encouraged and am so encouraged to keep working toward my goals. From now on, I hope to say yes more and be just a bit more fearless. Or at least pretend to be.

“Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.” Neale Donald Walsch

  • this is truly amazing and inspiring! it takes some real guts to get up and live your dreams – especially when your dream is to be a singer/songwriter. i’m incredibly shy and introverted, but when we moved to charlotte, i took that “fresh start” opportunity to come out of my shell and look for public singing opportunities. before too long i had a gig about every weekend, and a full plate – it was so liberating and exciting to do something that i had always dreamed about (even on a small small scale)– and a big confidence booster when people are actually enjoying your voice and songs!!! it just goes to show you that when you get out of your comfort zone and take a risk, big awesome things can happen.

  • Laura! I didn’t know all this about you! We need to chat music sometime! I’m trying to get plugged into the Charlotte music scene, but (aha) fear holds me back. Do you still sing weekly? I’d love to come see you perform!

  • I took a hiatus last summer when we started house hunting, and I’m glad I did – life got pretty hectic once we bought a house. I sang with a guitarist mostly out in Ballantyne, so the driving time out there for practice and for the gigs was getting to me (plus a lack of dedication/motivation). One of my favorite spots was in NoDa at La Dolce Vita. We’d play there once a month, and I highly recommend it – it’s a very low key, mellow atmosphere with super sweet patrons. Not much pressure at all!

    If you have a contact that can put you in touch with any bar/coffee shop/restaurant owners – GO FOR IT! I was super super nervous the first handful of times – shaky hands, almost hyperventilating, you know the drill, but once I got over myself, I sang better and enjoyed my time more. It’s a good trade-off!

    Let me know if you ever want a backup singer ;) or just an extra body up there with you – I could be persuaded to hit the scene again! haha!

  • Realizing a dream is one of the greatest feelings ever. It’s great that you have taken a step towards your dream. I am currently in a rut b/c I’m not even sure if my dream is one to be pursued anymore, but this gives me hope. Blessings to you, Katy. :-)

  • Way to go girl!!! Such an inspiration. It’s so hard to step outside our comfort zones but 90% of the time we are glad we did, I say. :) can’t wait to hear some songs… Will you be posting any on here?!

  • Hi Katy :D I’m so happy you shared this. I often do the exact same thing, it’s easier to stay where it’s comfortable. I’m so happy you are writting and have found a good mentor to help you with that. I’m still waiting for you to post a youtube singing video :) (No Pressure friend)
    Have a great week xo

  • Thank you Jhan! I love that this gave you some hope. Take time to think over if your dream is ready to be put aside, but if you can’t give it up quite yet, give it everything you’ve got!! Hope your dreams come true, Jhan!

  • Oh thank you, Angela! It’s definitely tough, but worth it! I’ll hopefully be able to find a guitar or piano player to accompany me sometime soon and will record then! My goal is to post videos at some point.

  • Hi Kristin! I’ll hopefully be able to find a guitar or piano player to accompany me and then I’ll record! My goal is to start posting videos this year!