“When they measure themselves by themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they are not wise.” 2 Corinthians 10:12b (NIV)
It can be such a dirty word, can’t it? It’s easier than ever to compare ourselves to others. To compare our lives with our favorite bloggers, with people you’re friends with on Facebook, on Pinterest, with twitter friends. It’s. so. easy. We’re all guilty of it. I’m most certainly guilty of it. I’ve taken time off of Facebook(best decision ever) because I’m TOO guilty of it.
I know that sometimes comparison can be good, sometimes we can look to others and be inspired or find things we can work on within ourselves. But there’s a fine line and it’s important we’re aware of it.
When we compare ourselves to others and yearn to be them or have something that they have, we’re only doing damage to ourselves.
Comparing our lives to someone who seems to have it better just leads to so much worse. It can lead us to be unappreciative of what we have right now. It can lead to ugliness within ourselves. Bitterness, resentment, self-hate, judgement of others. It’s a downward spiral.
It leads to insecurity.
I struggle with insecurity often. With friendships, with people I barely know and sometimes with my husband as well. It’s awful and it’s just a gateway to more bad thoughts and feelings.
I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to give comparison and nasty feelings that power. I want to work on myself and work on making myself better on the inside. I want to be happy and confident with who I am.
One day, I’m going to have children and if I am blessed with a little girl, I want her to look at her momma and see a confident woman, I never want to put myself down in front of her. I don’t want to be the reason she compares herself to others and feels insecure. I want to believe in myself so that when she grows up, she will have every reason to believe in herself too. I want to give her every tool I possibly can to show her who she is as a woman and most importantly, who she is in Christ.
When I look at my mother, she gives me every reason to feel good about myself. I want to do the same for my daughter.
I want to be the best possible example of confidence and love to her and it starts now.
I want to love the best I can and to do that, I need to love myself. It starts with ending the nasty comparisons. It’s not easy and not something that I’ll be able to stop completely, I know that, but being aware of what I’m doing will help me to stop the action in it’s tracks.
My husband, my family, my friends, they all love me just as I am.
Most importantly, God loves us just the way that we are. Heart and all.
If those bad thoughts or feelings ever pop-up, I hope you will realize that it’s NOT based on truth. You have the choice to end it. It’s not easy, but over time it’ll become easier. It’ll make you a better parent, spouse, significant other, friend, sibling.
Love and take care of yourself, so you can better love and take care of others.
Speak truth to yourself often, give light to your insecurities, be open about them to those close to you. It’s never easy to admit where we feel insecure, but It takes some of the power away. Ask others to speak truth to you daily when they catch you speaking hurtful words to yourself. If not for you, for those looking up to you.
Remember that you are beautiful, you are special, you are important, and you are loved.
“You are valuable because you exist. Not because of what you do or what you have done, but simply because you are.”-Max Lucado