Nola is having surgery today. It’s very routine, she’s just getting spayed. But I’ve been so concerned and nervous. What if she doesn’t react well to the anesthesia? What if she has something wrong with her that’ll rear it’s ugly head when she goes under? All pretty silly things considering she’s a dog and it’s very rare that anything could happen(can you imagine me with kids if I keep this up?). I fear.
How am I going to feel all day? Will this nervousness go away? Will 9 hours seem like 100? I worry.
I’ve only had this dog for about four months and already cannot imagine anything happening to her. I know this is over the top for a puppy, but she’s like a family member. She is a family member. We’ve already lost two family pets this year. Granted they were old, but I can’t even begin to imagine losing another.
Then, it hit me. I’m supposed to trust. Trust God. Trust that He is in control over every situation, no matter what happens and the relief fills my soul. The stress releases from my chest. I’m free to trust Him and with that, I feel peace. It doesn’t always happen quickly. This took me over a week to feel, but I’m feeling it.
I find these lessons sometimes in the littlest of circumstances. This week I’ve felt so off and weepy. So anxious and overwhelmed. I have a call tomorrow for a potential social media client and I’m just plain nervous! I feel inadequate and complete underestimate myself. Sometimes I fear people too much. I have NO reason to fear.
I just need to give it up because I’m loved, safe, fed, healthy. I really have no reason to feel any of these things I’ve felt.
I have what I need and more. More than I deserve. I am learning to truly appreciate every thing I have. I’m thankful for these lessons in the littlest moments of our day. They are necessary and feed our souls. They help us grow. For that, I am thankful.
Today will be a great day. Believe it.