“For what it’s worth … it’s never too late, or in my case too early, to be whoever you want to be. There’s no time limit. Start whenever you want. You can change or stay the same. There are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people who have a different point of view. I hope you live a life you’re proud of, and if you’re not, I hope you have the courage to start all over again.” – The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
One goal for my blog, from the very beginning of my blogging life, has been to always be real and honest. This is why I take a few days off here and there. Sometimes, my mind needs a break. Some days I’m going through junk and just need to work it out offline. Some days I’m so overwhelmed I can barely think of typing anything. It happens. It’s life.
I choose to find the joy in everything, as much as I possibly can anyway. However, not everything in life is that easy and of course I know that. Most things aren’t, I suppose. This why I love blogging and keep at it. Writing down and documenting my days allows me to find and seek the beauty in the mundane, in the seemingly boring and sometimes, yes, even the hard stuff. I’m not great at it, but I try.
In the midst of my blogging break, I began seeing a counselor at church. I know many people have preconceived notions on counseling. I’ll start by saying, I’m a huge advocate of seeing a counselor. It’s nothing to be afraid of or ashamed of. It’s so helpful and even if you feel like you’ve got your life together, you will benefit from it. God revealed some incredible things to me through counseling that I hope to share here in the future. I had a few things to work through, but the main thing was trying to figure out what I want to pursue as a career. A lot of feelings stemmed from that one missing piece.
At the moment, I have no clue what I want to do with my life. I really, really don’t. I thought it was social media marketing for a long time. For two years, it was a huge part of my identity. People came to me for help, it’s what I thought about and read about. It’s what I doubted myself with, to be honest. It’s what broke my heart. There were successes and real low points throughout the journey, as most journeys go, and there were many, many closed doors.
A few months ago, I started feeling a tug away from it. God was quietly telling me that it wasn’t what He had planned for me. Of course, He only lets me know bits of the puzzle at a time, but was that really true? Was this career that I’d been pursuing really not the right thing for me? It was hard to understand, but once I talked through it and said the words out loud, things began happening that further proved to me that it really was time to let go.
As of January 1st, I will no longer call myself a social media manager, I will not be managing social media accounts for anyone other than myself. Part of my identity will change, big time. While it’s incredibly scary, because I have no idea what my next step is, and there’s a good chance I’ll be getting a part-time job while I’m figuring it all out, it’s incredibly exciting as well. Like roller-coaster exciting. I’m a big believer in creating a beautiful life, but I also know it is so much easier said than done.
A few weeks ago, I took the Strong Interest Inventory and it has really been opening my eyes to possible careers. A few of them have really resonated with me, but there’s still a lot to think about before I jump head first into something else. There’s a good chance I will need to go back to school, there’s a good chance it’ll take me many more years to get to where I want to be, but it’s exciting nonetheless.
I wanted to share all this with you to let you know that if you’re figuring it all out, whether you’re 26, 48, 99, that you’re really not alone. We’re all figuring it out and I want to take you on this journey with me as I discover what that looks like.