Blank Page

posted on: Monday, March 30, 2015

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So here I am, staring at this blank page. It has been quite a while since I’ve written, one of my longest breaks in a good amount of time. It wasn’t a planned break, it just happened. Well, life happened, as it tends to do. As much as we try with all of our imaginary might to slow it down, it just keeps on flying and the best we can do is fight to keep our hair out of our lip gloss as it breezes by.

I try to not apologize for it because the time was greatly needed. Adding in a new job on top of my many other roles caused a bit of an imbalance and I am just now beginning to calibrate. I actually think I need to plan more of these breaks as they allow time for a very important gut check. This whole blogging thing is strange, if I really stop to think about it.

“What do you write about?”, they ask.

“Erm, my life? My dogs? My…self?”, I reply a bit sheepishly. It sounds terribly uninteresting. I don’t make any income from it, it just makes me happy. That is until life gets involved and it becomes just another to-do on my list. When it gets to that point and stops being a source of joy, it’s time to take a break and reevaluate.

The verdict? I still really, really love it. Even if no one reads or comments, I will keep on writing. The people I have heard from make it worth it. The creative outlet it provides makes it worth it. The amount I’ve learned about myself through writing here makes it worth it. The amazing people I’ve met through this space of mine make it worth it. It’s all, very much, worth it.

Fighting for Creativity

posted on: Thursday, January 29, 2015

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Lately, I’ve been allowing myself to create more. I have so often suppressed my desire to make things, create things, because it didn’t feel productive. It makes me cringe to say it now, but at the time, it felt like a waste. My friend Katie Lee once told me that making time to create is productive and I should plan on doing it daily. It wasn’t easy to do, and it took a while, but I’m finally letting myself do just that. I’m trying to leave space for my creativity to emerge, to grow, to develop in a new way. I’m not always happy with the end result, but I’m stretching those muscles I haven’t used so much. I’m sore in the right places and learning what it is to create all over again. I’ve been earnestly seeking the imagination I left back with my elementary school days. I wish I could go back to that Katy and ask her to teach me how to tap into my imagination, the way she so easily did back then. I’d also give her a hug, because being the chubby kid in school is really, really hard.

I really love this quote by Ira Glass that someone reminded me of on Instagram...

Nobody tells this to people who are beginners, I wish someone told me. All of us who do creative work, we get into it because we have good taste. But there is this gap. For the first couple years you make stuff, it’s just not that good. It’s trying to be good, it has potential, but it’s not. But your taste, the thing that got you into the game, is still killer. And your taste is why your work disappoints you. A lot of people never get past this phase, they quit. Most people I know who do interesting, creative work went through years of this. We know our work doesn’t have this special thing that we want it to have. We all go through this. And if you are just starting out or you are still in this phase, you gotta know its normal and the most important thing you can do is do a lot of work. Put yourself on a deadline so that every week you will finish one story. It is only by going through a volume of work that you will close that gap, and your work will be as good as your ambitions. And I took longer to figure out how to do this than anyone I’ve ever met. It’s gonna take awhile. It’s normal to take awhile. You’ve just gotta fight your way through.” -Ira Glass

Thank you, Ira. Thank you for putting it into words more perfectly than I ever could have. I will keep fighting.

 

Image Credit: Photography by Alex Mcdonell/Lettering by Noel Shiveley

It’s Friday Which Means Yay

posted on: Friday, January 23, 2015

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So, rumor has it that Mercury is in retrograde and while I don’t follow too closely to the astrological side of things, it’s apparently not good? Or good? Or something? I don’t know. I really don’t know. But! If Mercury being in retrograde had any say in how my week went, it can stick around for a little while longer. Best week of the year! So far! I had a really productive week and got some really clear vision on goals and where I see myself down the road. I started to find it early last year but life got busy. I mean, we started a business for goodness sakes and I lost sight of what I really wanted for myself for a bit of time, but I’m back in focus and it feels really good. I’m hoping to ride this wave of motivation and excitement for a while. I wish I could bottle it up and open it anytime I want to, but alas it ebbs and flows. I do feel big things coming and I’m excited to see how it all unfolds.

I can also eat cheese and drink wine again this weekend, so let’s throw a party! Oh and hey! Did you hear I started a Tumblr? I did! Hooray and happy weekend!

Before I go, can I blame this Mercury Retrograde business on that horrible excuse for a top knot? No? Well, crap.

My Thoughts On The Elimination Diet

posted on: Wednesday, January 21, 2015

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That would be my elimination-diet-friendly avocado toast. I miss actual toast. I miss bread. I MISS GLUTEN AND CAFFEINE AND WINE AND BUTTERRRRRRR.

Okay, my thoughts on this are a bit more cohesive than that first beauty of a paragraph up there, but that’s probably because I just ate. Eating helps with the thinking, you know.

So, I had a few readers mention that they would love to hear more about the diet and my thoughts on it. My thoughts as I am hitting the homestretch? I’m very glad I did this. I can say this now, because it’s mostly-over in four days, but I am. November/December took my clean-eating habits and destroyed them. It was Italy’s fault, really (no regrets and YOLO and all that). How dare they have the most delicious pizza, pasta, mozzarella, and pastries ever! The nerve. Then, we entered into Thanksgiving, which led into the sugar-induced coma that is December. My good habits lost out to my insane sweet tooth. It was no contest. I mean, who are we kidding?

The food has been super delicious, that’s the good news. The bad news is that it takes way more planning and eating out is nearly impossible. Adam and I did go on a date last Friday night that was, by far, the most granola date we’ve ever had. Kombucha at a local brewery followed by my new favorite restaurant in Charlotte, Luna’s Living Kitchen. If I could eat like that every day, I’d be a happy lady. Katie also made these raw, vegan brownies for a potluck we had and made my ever-loving day! My sweet tooth had reached astronomical levels and I may have teared up at first bite. They are amazing and I already made a batch since Sunday because Adam practically begged me to. I am so very thankful for friends who delight in taking on dietary-restriction challenges.

I don’t usually do well with strict boundaries. I fight against them. Every fiber of my being hates boundaries and being boxed in somehow. I’m mentally claustrophobic. But this month? I needed this month. I needed the boundaries to reign in my sugar intake. It worked! I feel better mentally, physically, and I’m back to eating clean.

So, that about wraps it up on the elimination-diet front. It’s taken me a while to write about the experience, because my thoughts on it change daily. Some days, I love it. Others? Not so much. Everyday, though, I feel good that what I’m putting into my body is so good for me. Even those brownies! I’m still a huge fan of moderation (and butter, did I mention butter?) and though I’m ready to be set free from the boundaries (and not have such crazy dietary restrictions), this has definitely set me up for a great year.

We have yet to reintroduce our prohibited foods back into our diet, so it’ll be interesting to see if either one of us reacts to anything, so “To Be Continued…” on all of that.

Have you ever done such a thing as an elimination diet? Do you hate the word “diet” as much as I do?